Lead with Spiritual Hunger

Have you ever been busy with a task when your stomach starts to grumble, and suddenly it's hard to concentrate on anything but your hunger? There are a million things that can take up our attention throughout the day, but when hunger sets in it's likely to take priority over everything else. It's one of the most basic driving forces and motivators.

On Friday the three month School of Ministry of Ministry Development that I've been staffing here at YWAM LA came to a close. On our last morning of teaching our speaker talked about how to stay hungry and not spiritually plateau.

I love the incredibly simple promise of Jesus; "blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled" [Matthew 5:6]. Seems pretty straightforward, but how do you hunger when you're not hungry? That can be simple too; ask God for hunger! Every day I can wake up, give my day to God and pray for more hunger. And if I'm spending time with Him, time in His word, and time around other hungry people chances are I'm going to have a vibrant spiritual hunger and a vibrant walk with God.

Our teacher said that to avoid falling into a spiritual plateau we should continually assess ourselves. What skills do I want to sharpen? What books should I read? What relationships do I want to cultivate? That's a major one for me. Who do I look to for coaching and mentorship? Who do I intentionally disciple and pour into? Challenging. Good thoughts to think. Our spiritual hunger must be coupled with accountability. We're all fragile and we need other people to pick us up, hold us up, and launch us forward.

I love what our speaker, Jim Orred, said; "accountability happens when you invite others into your life to give input on your priorities and your relationships". Hunger leads to growth, but growth requires humility and a fare dose of discomfort.

2 Kings chapter 5 tells the story of Naaman, the commander of a kings army who had leprosy. On the word of an Israelite servant girl he traveled to seek healing from a foreign prophet he did not know, Elisha. He was hungry to receive his healing. Even though he was angered by Elisha's methods, still he obeyed his instructions and was healed. Hunger trumped his pride. And how did Elisha have such power and spiritual authority? Because he too was hungry. He had followed an incredible spiritual leader. He followed Elijah to the very end of his life even when Elijah had tried to turn him away, and he asked for a double portion of the spirit that Elijah possessed [2 Kings 2].

God created us and the noble dreams and desires within us, but they are only an invitation. It's up to us to go after them! He must be so excited when we get hungry for Him because there are so many amazing things He wants to give us!

Life may place a lot of demands on me, but I hope that wherever I am and whatever I'm doing I will have an underlying spiritual hunger that pushes me forward. Just like that growling in my stomach, I want a stirring in my spirit that tells me there is more. Father, help us to be hungry! You are so good and so vast. There is more!


"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" - James 4:8

Thank you Jesus!

Unbound: God's Story For Our Summer

When we seek God and wait to hear His voice,what He speaks will shape us.

This spring I took on the task of coordinating our summer missions program for youth groups and high school students, Mission Adventures. Mission Adventures leaders from around the world gathered in Ireland months ago and prayed about what our focus should be for MA, and God spoke Unbound. And there were three specific issues that God highlighted underneath that --- keys to our students living an unbound life --- Bravery, Identity and Idolatry. Is that the kind of stuff you usually talk about on a fun youth trip? Let's circle back to that in a little bit...

 [Packing over 700 boxes of food bound for Honduras at Children's Hunger Fund]

We had four teams come July, about 40 students altogether. They stayed with us on our campus for the first couple of days and had teaching on everything from evangelism, servant-hood, and the link between prayer and missions before going out into the city for outreach. We had a wonderful mix of outreach activities throughout our weeks, from working with food distribution programs in the San Fernando Valley and South Central LA, evangelism in Hollywood and Santa Monica, working with three different missions in Skid Row, serving meals to seniors with the Salvation Army and cheering for athletes at the Special Olympics. I felt really blessed to be able to experience more of my city, humbled by the amount of neediness that we have, and so thankful that we could partner with so many different people who are working day in and day out to care for our communities. 

                                         [Prepping food for distribution at M.E.N.D. in the San Fernando Valley]


It was undoubtedly a growing experience for our students. Every week we had our first teaching from our Calling All Skaters founder Shaun Hover on evangelism and bravery. He taught us to celebrate bravery in one another, even if we go up to talk to someone and they aren't receptive. We know that God is good and that we're called to share His love, not only in our speech, but in our lifestyle. So many of our students stepped out and talked to strangers and wound up praying for them for the first time. Even seeing the level of poverty in Skid Row was incredibly challenging for some of our students, and while our culture conditions us to be uncomfortable and avoid the homeless community, we saw that the love of God compels us to reach out and love them.

[Taking the crew out to evangelize on Hollywood Blvd]

Here's my absolute favorite part. The final week we had two groups and on our last night together we spent time sharing highlights and testimonies from the week. I was expecting to hear stories about our students highlights and most impactful moments, and it certainly began that way. But as the night went on they began to open up about very personal issues, dark parts of their testimonies and share about struggles with identity. Their bravery lead to so much freedom and breakthrough in the room and opened up an amazing time of prayer as God came in and ministered to us. It was a powerful moment in time. It was community as it should be. And suddenly it hit me; God had fulfilled what He spoke to us --- we were being Unbound.

I saw so much bravery in our kids. Not just on outreach, but in their transparent brokenness with one another. I saw God affirm them in their identity and tear down the lies of the enemy that had been robbing them of their true beauty and worth. And I felt God challenging us on the last piece of the puzzle; idolatry. It's easy to grow closer to God when you dedicate a week to going after Him and being used by Him. It's easy to go all in for a week when it's structured for spiritual growth. But are we consistent? I felt God challenging me to tear down my own idols. For instance, I'm kind of an entertainment junkie. I love to veg in front of the tv at the end of the day. Too often entertainment is my main source of comfort and rest when I should firstly find those things in God. What things distract us and rob time that we know should be spent with our Father?

When we see the beauty of who we are in Christ, we can live bravely for Him and all the idols of this world can't hold a candle to the greatness of our God. This was more than the story of what God wanted to do with a group of kids this summer. This is the story of what He wants for me always; to be unbound. To be wild and free for my King.




Here's some footage from our time this summer with some explanation about MA from our new program directors and testimonies from students and youth group leaders.

God is good! Thanks for reading!

My Burden // My Jesus

Do you ever feel like you're carrying an enormous burden...weary, and like the weight of life is sometimes too great for you? It's a rhetorical question. We all do. Our world is busy and often chaotic and we will sometimes have to endure burdens and weariness physically, psychologically and spiritually.

Last night I was reading a popular passage of scripture that speaks to this issue in Matthew chapter 11, and God was showing me some things through His Word that I felt inspired to share.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light".

Jesus starts by making an invitation that applies to each and every one of us. If you don't feel weary today you are blessed, but it won't last forever. Burdens are inevitable and so is the weariness that follows. But secondly, Jesus gives us a promise: come to me and I will give you rest. When I picture rest I most often imagine laying down, but Jesus' next instruction is to take His yoke upon us, for He is gentle and humble in heart. Farmers used yokes to bind their oxen together so yokes came to represent labour, service and submission to authority. Why on earth is Jesus suggesting that we take a yoke upon ourselves in order to find rest? Well, before you can answer that you must consider what your burden is...

In the yoke analogy we would say that our burdens are tied to us and being carried behind us. On a basic level, labour is one of our many burdens. We all must work to provide for ourselves. And I believe that God has created each of us with unique talents and abilities, desires in our hearts and a certain sense of destiny as to what we want to accomplish in our lives. When you put all of that together, life is far from easy. Often our greatest sense of burden comes from our deepest dreams and the desire to fulfil them. Other burdens may be found in relationships; In our physical, mental, social and spiritual needs. In this life, we carry so much. So what about yoking myself with Jesus is going to give me rest from my burdens and weariness?

While I may be weak and incredibly limited, my Jesus is perfectly strong and infinite. Where I am limited in knowledge, my Jesus is perfect in wisdom. Though I will ceaselessly grow weary, when I am with Jesus I find rest for my soul. Why is that? Why can't I find that same level of rest on my own? I can try diet and exercise, drugs and alcohol, meditation, mysticism, spiritualism...nothing works. I think the absolute worst feeling we can experience as human beings is the feeling of loneliness. Why is that?...

Well, the answer is found in our Creator. When we look to the very beginning of scripture we see that we were created in God's likeness and created to live in an intimate and harmonious relationship with Him. That is why a piece of our soul will always be vacant and unfulfilled apart from the love of God. And because we once were so lost in legalism and religion, Jesus came to show us who God really is. All powerful, holy and righteous, but also full of love, mercy, grace and compassion - even for the greatest of sinners.

Why do I find rest when I yoke myself with Jesus Christ? Because I know how good He is. I know how much He loves me. And the thought that He would willingly yoke Himself with me and help me carry my burdens is unspeakably beautiful to me. He teaches me and guides me with gentleness and humility. As I read this passage of scripture and prayed, I pictured Jesus by my side as we were joined together by the same yoke. Not only does He unite Himself with me to help me and give me strength, but so that I won't wander away from Him and the beautiful life He has planned for me. And if I wander, He will pursue me forever until I turn back to Him. We are joined together carrying a large plough behind us, tilling the soil and working the field so that beautiful things might grow in our path...and He is smiling. He looks at me and smiles with so much love and delight. He gave His very life for this: for intimacy, that we might walk together always. And when my strength fails, He will carry me. Come hell or high water, He will never let me go.

Twice in this passage Jesus makes us a promise. Come to me, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...and you will find rest for your soul.

A Captive Set Free. A Pilgrim Heading Home.

I sat down intending to write about the work I've been doing with high school students over the past month, but I felt that before I began I should rest and reflect have some quite time before God. So I turned on some music and turned to Psalm 126, which is not unusual, because it's pretty much my favorite passage in the Bible and God has spoken to me very powerfully through it in the past.

Psalm 126 is described as "A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem"...

"When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion,
We were like men who dreamed [or men restored to health, or -- it was like a dream!]
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
Our tongues with songs of joy
Then it was said among the nations 'the LORD has done great things for them'
The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy" (vs 1-3, NIV)

I read this shortly after coming to YWAM LA and giving my life back to God. I was broken wide open by the profoundness of God's grace when I read these words. This was my story...God reminded me of this today, and I think this is what He wanted me to share about...

As I revisited this memory, I wondered to myself if I even realize the power of my own testimony. Do I still give God credit for the dramatic change He has done in my life? Do I give myself any credit for actually being a changed man? My human nature is incredibly self-critical. I will always point to a dozen of my weaknesses before I recognize any of my strengths. But I am still a living testimony of the power of God's love and redemption, and I want to carry that testimony with confidence and always give God the thanks and praise that He deserves.

I was headed for hell, but now my name is written in heaven. I was so desperately lost, but He found me. How great is my sin! How great is my shame! How undesirable I think that I should be to such a holy God! But how much greater still is His desire for me! My Father desires me more than I have ever understood. He so jealously desires to win my heart over with His unsearchably deep love, and to let nothing of this world come between He and I. How unworthy I feel! But He has placed the worth and righteousness of Jesus Christ upon me! I have accepted  the salvation that comes through Christ, so when my Father looks and me, He sees that I am covered and made new by the perfect blood of of His Son. Oh if we could truly believe that, and let it become the spiritual reality of how we view ourselves....

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit come together and celebrate over me. How in love they are with me!...Their Little Prince...

It is undeniable that I was living in captivity. I was a slave to my own sin, but I have been set free. Our sinful nature is like a sickness, but He continues to heal us more day by day if we continue to faithfully follow Him and remain open and willing to say yes to all of His perfect plans and desires for us. We are pilgrims, ever getting closer to home. The Israelites viewed home as the land given to them by God, but now we see it to be much more. Home can be anywhere I find myself, as long as I am living in unity with God...as long as I am following His Holy Spirit. When we are together, I am home. And at the end of this great pilgrimage we will experience whole and complete unity with our Father. We will truly and forever be home. That will be my final release from captivity. That will be my final healing...

And what is my desire now? That the nations will look to us and see the greatness of God. Not because of our own greatness, but the greatness of His love...



"When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
'The LORD has done great things for them.'
The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy"...

Why am I at YWAM LA?

I was recently home for a few days and I had the opportunity to meet up with a friend and catch up. I knew we would get to talking about YWAM eventually, and as I drove to meet him I asked myself; "why am I at YWAM LA?". It seems an odd question coming from someone who made a minimum 2 year staffing commitment without much of a second thought. But I wanted to remind myself...what brought me here? Why do I do what I do? What do I believe in?

What followed were some refreshing answers that I can definitely stand by, but can be all too easy to forget sometimes. So here they are...

#1: I'm here because I believe in the power of Discipleship

The entry-level course for everyone in YWAM is a Discipleship Training School (DTS) --- 3 months of teaching and training at your selected campus followed by 2 to 3 months of outreach in a foreign nation (or multiple nations). One of things that allowed God to radically change me during my DTS in Los Angeles was the nature of the community around me. It seemed like the closest thing to the early church that I had ever experienced. It was about so much more than weekly meetings. It was a faith driven, discipleship-oriented community of people living together. And we shared the same goals and values - to know God and to make Him known to others. The truth is, I needed a heck of a lot more than to attend some really good services or hear a few good teachings. I needed people who were willing to walk alongside me and push me to give my all to God and following His will and calling in my life. I knew before I even left for outreach that I wanted to come back and staff a DTS because I wanted to be a part of God's transformational process in someone else's life, the same way that people were a part of my process. It was the community behind me that pushed me to pursue God, to give Him my all, and to believe in miracles. It's a discipleship based community. That's something that I find unique about YWAM and that I think is invaluable.

So. There's a big one (and the long one). Here's one more.

#2: I know this is where God wants me to be

First of all, I know He wants me here because He lead me here; not just through His provision and direction, but through the desire He placed in my heart to be here. I know that's from Him. But beyond that, I have some other suspicions as to why He might want me here.

This is a place where God wants to develop my character... 

Living in a community like this can be an incubator for character development, if you take advantage of it. There's so much wisdom and support available around here, and people and experiences that can mentor you. And the roles I've held on staff themselves have been stretching. After going through a leadership school and staffing one, one thing I'm being taught continually is the value of servant leadership. People tend to think of leaders as Type-A personalities, great public speakers, and people who command respect through their confidence and superior knowledge. That can be a great leader, but that's not the only type of leader. Far too often I've lacked confidence because I didn't feel like the aforementioned brand of leader. I didn't have all the answers, and that shook my confidence. But I've felt God challenging me to focus on servanthood. I have a tendency towards perfectionism and self-criticism...that type of false humility that in itself is a form of pride, because it is totally self-focused rather than Christ-focused. But my challenge is to focus on Jesus and to emulate Him. He loved. He served. Those things I can do. Not perfectly, but God's grace has a wonderful way of filling in the cracks of our imperfections when we serve Him and others the best way we know how to.

I had a couple other thoughts I was going to share, but I'll leave it at this for now.

Discipleship is a vital part of Christian life. We're here to lift each other up and to encourage one another to press on towards the goal; to keep on serving our savior, till our days here are done. And we're called to serve one another, as well as non-believers and the world around us. We should be known by our love and humility, just as Christ was.

These are things that I value and aspire to, and that's why I'm here.


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If you'd like to receive my email updates, or find out about how you can become a prayer partner or financial supporter, please contact me at trevorywam@gmail.com

A year ago today...

A year ago today I began the Spiritual Leadership and Ministry Training school at YWAM Kona/University of the Nations. Those were six of the most incredible weeks of my life (and not just because I was in Hawaii). It was a real struggle returning home after my DTS and outreach to the Philippines and Thailand. There were times when I seriously doubted if I was ever going to return to YWAM Los Angeles and staff a DTS, which is what I felt God was directing me to do. But as He seems to do time and time again, He showed me that His grace is sufficient, above and beyond what I could ever desire.

It was there in Kona that I was invited to come staff the Fall 2014 DTS at YWAM LA, which was an amazing experience that allowed me to co-lead a team to Costa Rica and Panama, and make some incredible friends along the way.

And now, here I am in LA. Still serving and pursuing what God has for me, and living in a community of some amazing people that I look up to and am happy to work alongside.



To everyone who has been a part of my journey through your thoughts, prayers, emotional and financial support, and most of all your friendship - THANK YOU. I cannot thank you enough. I am a lucky, lucky guy. And I hope that every blessing from God in my life extends to you as well.

Bringing the Heart of Missions to High Schoolers

 This summer YWAM Los Angeles is re-launching our Mission Adventures program! MA is a one week, immersive missions experience tailored specifically for youth groups and high schoolers. Groups come from all over to receive teaching and training here on our campus, and then we launch them out into the city to live, serve and minister.  MA was originally founded at YWAM LA, but it hasn't been running here for the past few years. MA now operates at 33 YWAM locations worldwide...

Last fall we had a time of base-wide prayer where it became very apparent that God was resurrecting Missions Adventures at YWAM LA. During that meeting I felt an incredible passion for MA. I knew that God was impressing it upon my heart to be involved, so I raised my hand to be a part of the team that was gonna bring this adventure back. I had no idea how I was going to be involved, just that I was to be involved...

Shortly after returning from leading a team to Costa Rica and Panama, and as I was beginning to transition into staffing our current leadership school, I was asked to take on the main responsibility for coordinating MA and getting it ready to blast off when our teams arrive in July. Man was I surprised! I knew it would be a challenge, but it felt right to rise to the occasion and say yes. It's already been an awesome experience of growth and learning. I'm looking forward to all of the action that July will bring!

In the past we've always sent our MA teams on outreach to Mexico, but this year we felt called to do outreach right here in LA. I'm super excited to see us become more involved in ministering to our city. That's a big part of my heart and hope for YWAM LA.

So here I am! - coordinating and preparing the outreach activities for our incoming teams. I know that this season will have a huge impact not only on our community, but on the individual lives of the students who are going to come through. Many people who have been introduced to missions in high school through MA have returned to YWAM to do our six month Discipleship Training School, and many more still have been called into full-time missions. Whatever the case may be, I know that God is in this and that He's going to do incredible things.

You can get a little glimpse into the heart of Mission Adventures by watching the video below. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and for reading along! 

A Prayer Room, a Piano and a Prince

Have you read my last post? If not, I would highly recommend it, because it provides the context for what I'm going to be sharing in this post. And you'll also notice some remarkable similarities between the way that God spoke to me on that occasion and in this one. But I'll give a brief intro... 

A few weeks ago while trainers from Restoring The Foundations were here at YWAM LA I had the opportunity to go through three sessions of ministry for what they call Soul/Spirit Hurts. The ministry is a prayer process where you ask God to lead you back to a hurtful memory and allow Him to bring healing.

I closed my eyes and prayed for God to take me back to wherever He wanted to take me. After a few moments, I saw myself inside of the prayer chapel at the YWAM LA campus. I was 21 and it was during my Discipleship Training School. I was surprised to find God leading me here because this was actually a really good memory. I had just been reading in 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 and God was speaking deeply to me about the hurts and mistakes of my past. Despite all of my rebellion and brokenness, He had never stopped loving me. He had redeemed me back into right relationship with Him. It was an awesome time of encountering God's love. Pretty good memory, right? What else did God wanna show me?

Well, I asked Jesus to come into the memory...

I was in a small side room in the prayer chapel that had an old stand up piano inside. I walked in and there He was, peaceful and beautiful, playing away on the piano. "I've been waiting for you". For years He'd been waiting, playing His song for me. He wrote down a piece of sheet music and slipped it into the back of a Bible, telling me that I was a part of His story. There was a cushion in the middle of the floor where I had been praying, and I saw heavenly, golden light shining on it. "I've prepared a place for you". There was a silver bowl in front of me that caught all of my tears as I knelt down and prayed. Jesus took the bowl, poured it out onto the piano keys and continued to play. This might sound familiar to what He did in my last memory. He took my pain and redeemed it into something beautiful. It was just another part of His love song for me.

Then I asked Him to take me to the Father...

The top of the piano opened up and there was radiant, golden light shining out from within. The Father had been there all along. Jesus said to me, "the Father is the song. I just sing the song". That's a fun one to ponder. It was quite the mind-blow.

Jesus had come. The Father had come. It was time to revisit the original memory and see how it had changed.

When I walked back into the room everyone was there. The Father, the Spirit and the Son. They were singing, "We love you, and We'll never stop. All this is for you..." (from the song When You Walk Into the Room by Bryan and Katie Torwalt). I was there on my knees, so joyful, swaying back and forth to the music. They placed a crown of flowers of my head and called me Little Prince. It sounds a little silly to retell it, but it was awesome. They gave me my identity. I am a son of God. I'm a member of a Royal family. I am so loved. I am secure.

I went up to the piano like a little kid and asked Jesus if I could play too. He said yes of course. And now we get to make music together.

I can't say enough about the intensity, the strength, the beauty, and the faithfulness of God's love. We are as His children and His heart burns to share that love with us. I hope that you find yourself in a place where you can trust and receive His love, and receive continual revelation about just how profoundly deep that love goes.

An Orphan, a Savior and a Violin

Something amazing happened to me. I took a stroll through my past, and Jesus showed me incredible things. I want to tell you about it.

For the past week at YWAM LA we've had a ministry group called Restoring The Foundations (RTF) training and teaching students and staff at the base. RTF is a prayer ministry where people receive inner healing based on four primary problem areas; Generational Sins, Ungodly Beliefs, Soul/Spirit Hurts and Demonic Oppression. That might sound a little spooky and religious and weird, but all I can do is tell you what I genuinely experienced.

The ministry for addressing past Soul/Spirit Hurts is incredibly powerful. Someone leads you through a prayer process where you ask God to bring you back to a painful memory where He wants to minister. You tell Jesus all of the negative things that you're feeling and ask Him to heal your pains. Then you ask Jesus to take you to Father God, and then you revisit the original memory and see how drastically different it becomes once God has brought healing.

I know this sounds a little crazy. I've grown up in church my entire life and I had no context for something like this. My first reaction was, 'Christian Hypnotism'. But it's not. There's no manipulation. It isn't about the person guiding you through the ministry process at all. It's about seeking God and asking Him to bring healing.

So here's what happened...

I closed my eyes and asked God to bring me back to a painful memory where He wants to bring healing. It was quite a faith-stretcher to ask Him such an open-ended question. I had no idea where this was going. But within moments, He brought me back.

I was 18 years old, back in my bedroom, smoking pot. I need to give a little bit of context. Right before I turned 18 I developed bi-polar disorder, and right after I graduated high school I became very rebellious. I abandoned my relationship with God and got wrapped up in drugs and partying.  This cycle of depression and rebellion continued for 3 years and only ended when I came to YWAM LA to do my DTS. Long story short.

So back to my room...

There I am, smoking and listening to music. Up late, all alone. I felt good. It felt good to be doing what I wanted to do. But at the same time it felt a little wrong. I felt lonely. Why do I have to be alone and acting in secret to be having fun and trying to feel free? I felt rebellious. Then I asked Jesus to come into my memory...

There He was in the middle of the room, sitting on a chair and playing violin. He was so peaceful and so loving. So content. Just playing His beautiful song. It felt great to have Him there. I could feel Him ministering to me through the music. So then I decided to give all my negative emotions and hurtful feelings to Him. Without a second thought He took my pains and placed them on the violin strings, and they were effortlessly absorbed into the song. He took all my pain and made something beautiful out of it. It was all part of His song.

Then I asked Him to take me to the Father...

Suddenly we were outside of my bedroom window on the roof, staring up at the moon. This was significant. Growing up, I used to always lay on a hill across from my house and peer up at the moon. As a kid, that's how I felt connected to God. Just me and Him. So Jesus took me back to that feeling, and He made it better than ever. It wasn't just me staring up into the universe dreaming of God. The Son of God Himself was right there beside me, and we admired the beauty of the Father together.

Then I went back to visit the orignal memory and see how it had changed...

Jesus was there, still peacefully playing the violin. I was at the window staring out at the moon. But something was still wrong. My back was turned to Jesus. We weren't connecting. That's when God told me that I had an Orphan Spirit. The Orphan Spirit is something that I've heard taught about many times before, but it's never been anything that I would suspect myself of struggling with. I have two amazing and loving parents. I'm not an orphan. But that's what God said. I realized then that I've spent most of my life feeling alone. Even when I was in seasons of having a good relationship with God, there were parts of myself that weren't fully open to Him, and long stretches of road that I chose to walk alone. But I've never ever been alone. God has always, always been there. Jesus had always had my back. Jesus had always been by my side. So He decided to show me just how strong and personal His love was for me.

He handed me a violin...

I was overcome with joy. I laughed and laughed. My mind was blown. The person guiding me through the ministry asked me what was going on, but I couldn't answer for a long time. I just laughed and laughed. Jesus couldn't have made a more powerful statement of His love towards me. He was inviting me into His song. But it wasn't a matter of His song and my song anymore. It was our song. I was forgiven. I was healed. I was loved, and nothing on Heaven or on Earth could undo that love. My back wasn't turned anymore. We were together. We were playing our love song.

Now I can go back to that memory, and I can't focus on the pain. I can think of that entire dark season of my life, and I see something new. I see all of my brokenness and shame taken into the hands of Jesus and weaved into our song. And it's a really good song. It's a love song.

This is a true story. God is crazy, and His love for us is crazy. He is my Healer, and He can be yours as well. He's dying to show you how much He loves you...

The God Who Speaks (San Jose, Costa Rica)

After our time working with Homes of Hope in San Jose, we had the opportunity to participate in a local church service for a church that was having a week long emphasis on missions. On the first evening we attended, our team performed their drama, and students shared teachings and testimonies. At the end of the service, we were called to the front to pray for those who would like prayer and the congregation was invited to come forth. Most of our team was quickly approached and began praying for people, but I stood at the front for a while without activity. Shortly after, one the of men from the YWAM San Jose staff encouraged me that we could go out into the congregation and ask people if they would like to receive prayer. So with Emma and our trusty translator Ruth, I set out. We saw a middle aged couple sitting towards the back that seemed highlighted, so we approached them and asked if they would like prayer for anything. As is usually the case with the very friendly and warm-culture Costa Rican's, they accepted our offer. Emma and I prayed in English, and Ruth finished us off praying in Spanish, but while we were praying I had the very distinct impression that I should pray for theirs kids, and specifically that there was some sort of separation with God taking place. So I had Ruth translate what I was feeling, and they confirmed that this was indeed going on. I was able to encourage them that I felt God was saying He saw what was going on, and He was actively pursuing their heart. They seemed very touched to know that God would use some random guy like me just to come and encourage them. At the end of the service the mother came and thanked me again and shared some more of what was going on with their family and their son. It turns out they they were pastors in this church, and that their son had not been coming for months...

The next evening we returned to the same church for another service. I wasn't active in any ministry this time, but I did notice the father from the previous evening and we greeted each other. At the end of the service, he came up to me and introduced me to a young man that I had noticed across from me throughout the night. The father did not speak much English, but he told me that this was his son that I had prayed for, and with that he departed and left the two of us together. His son did speak English, and began by saying that his father had told him that I had received a word for him in prayer. Talk about awkward. Here I stood before a man that had only existed in my mind theoretically the night before, now I had met him and had to skip straight into the business of sharing prophecy. No pressure. But alas, I told him what I had felt, and he received it well. He shared his story with me, how he had grown up in this church and was very active on the worship team, but some type of dramatic event had taken place in his family, and now he no longer felt comfortable being around the church congregation. On top of this, most of his co-workers were not Christian and were not encouraging him in his faith. He said that he had only come to church that night on a whim, at his sisters suggestion. And tonight of all nights, here I was to meet him. It was awesome to be able to listen to him share his heart, to encourage him, and to pray with him. And when he comes to mind, I continue to pray for him and his family.


                (Video includes me sharing about this story + other stories from San Jose) 


"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help..." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a 

The circumstances of those two nights blew my mind and brought me so much joy. It brought deeper affirmation to my heart that if we can be a people who prays, our God is a God who speaks. And you just never know what might happen when you share what He speaks to you.

Costa Rica Week 4: Homes of Hope

"For every house has a builder, but the one who built everything is God" - Hebrews 3:4

After our time in Puerto Viejo we returned to the YWAM base in San Jose and transitioned into four days of working with Homes of Hope. Homes of Hope is a YWAM ministry that began in 1990 when staff members from YWAM Los Angeles spearheaded the effort to build the first house in Tijuana [ywamhomesofhope.org/who-we-are]. HOH now operates in 9 countries and has built thousands of houses. The heart of HOH is to build quality houses for poor families in Latin America and work alongside the families in the building process. Our mission was to build 4 houses in 2 days, as a large group of volunteer builders from the States came in to work with YWAM San Jose staff and the families. It seemed a tall order...

           (Panarica team members hangin` with YWAM San Jose staff and a neighborhood boy)


It was amazing to see the life, energy and love that was injected into this poor community as we all came together with the common purpose of service and blessing others. A common theme that came up during the lecture phase of our DTS - from teacher to teacher - was that we are blessed to be a blessing. The love and graciousness of God poured out onto our lives compels us to love and serve one another. It felt amazing to be a part of the beautiful, collective effort to bless these families.

(American volunteers + YWAM San Jose staff - walls come up)

Our team had the distinct privilege of heading up the Hospitality Team, which covered everything from setting up the day before construction began, to serving the meals, and keeping all the builders fed and hydrated throughout the day. Though we didn't work on the house constyruction itself, I never once felt like what we were doing was insignificant. It felt like an honor just to be a part of the entire process and to be able to serve the families and the builders. And yes, we did it. 4 houses. 2 days.

     (The Hospitality Team taking one of our many trips throughout the day to refresh the builders)


At the end of the second day the workers from each build site held a presentation ceremony. They gathered in a circle with the family, and as they passed the keys to the house from worker to worker, they shared their hearts. I was so blessed to see the encouragement, life and love they spoke over them. This was truly the Gospel in action. They could have easily just written out a check to any number of worthy charities, but they had spent their money, left their homes, and dedicated their time and labor all to bless complete strangers. Finally, they presented the family with their keys, and they walked in to see their completed, brand new house for the first time...

                      (Builders and family standing in front of their newly constructed home)


The houses were furnished, stocked with groceries, and some toys for the kids. After they invited us in, they began to express their thanks. The father was near speechless. The mother began to cry. All I could do was crack a wild smile. This was how life should be. This is what love looks like. This is what outreach is all about. The days flew by, but we will cherish this experience long after...

Viva Casas de Esperanza!



       (Testimonies about Homes of Hope and other parts of our journey in San Jose)

Costa Rica Week 3: Pioneers of Puerto Viejo

After our first two weeks of service in Heredia we made our way to the YWAM base in San Jose. Our contact there was a Colombian man affectionately known as Rasta, which translates to dreadlocks in Spanish. And yes, he has big 'ol dreadlocks. Rasta has worked at the San Jose base for several years and is currently leading the construction of a brand new base in Puerto Viejo.

The Dream to Reach a Nation:

Puerto Viejo is a beach town on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica. It is a major tourist town with a heavy spiritual atmosphere. There is a very prevalent partying culture, drugs and alcohol, and even some witchcraft. But the town is also very beautifully diverse. People from all over the world have come to settle there, from the far reaches of Latin America to Western Europe. Years ago, God spoke to Rasta and told him that Puerto Viejo is a gateway to reaching all of Costa Rica, and since then he has been praying and dreaming about building a base there. Finally, God provided the land for a miraculous price and Rasta and his wife have been working tirelessly ever since. Our team was only the third DTS team to come and work on the base.

   
                            (Humble beginnings - a sign hangs for the forthcoming base, YWAM Puerto Viejo)


The Landscape: 

Though only a stones throw off of a main road, the property can easily be described as straight up jungle. There was heat and humidity in plenty, and lots and lots of interesting wildlife. The girls had the pleasure of discovering several new species of spiders (often times in their room), while we all enjoyed the spotting of a sloth, Congo monkeys, and a momma caiman with several small babies living in the pond in front of the main building. It was such a new experience and such an adventure.

(YWAM San Jose head of communications, Pablo, helps shovel mud from the river)

The Labor of Faith: 

Our time here consisted of some of the toughest physical labor I've ever experienced. It was a difficult adjustment for me at first, but after a couple days, God really blessed me with the heart behind the work. I remembered how coming to do my DTS at YWAM Los Angeles was an experience that completely changed the course of my life and lifted me up out of immense depression. What makes YWAM beautiful is the radical encounters with God that it facilitates. With that memory and knowledge in mind, it became easy to work with all of my strength, because I knew what I was working towards. I can only imagine the countless number of students (and staff alike) who are going to have life-changing experiences with God while they are at YWAM Puerto Viejo.

(Our team and a crew from YWAM San Jose work on landscaping)

Worshiping While Shoveling: 

The work we did during this week was very practical and very needed. Our service was just another step towards the completion of a dream. When we arrived there was no power or water for the first three days, so we began our week by forming an assembly line to carry water from the river to the base. No, we couldn't drink it, but it did come in handy to be able to flush the toilets. Myself and the two other guys on our team did a lot of work shoveling mud out of the river to create even ground where a concrete porch will be built. We also laid some foundations for the expansion of the second floor in the main building. The girls did an amazing job on landscaping and creating a path around the base. We also had the opportunity to work with a small church in town and help them put on their children's Christmas program. The congregation was small, but the depths of wisdom and faithfulness in the hearts of its members was truly a blessing for our team to behold.

(Anne works on painting rocks to accentuate the path)

Looking Forward: 

We may have only contributed a weeks worth of work, but we were so blessed to lend our support towards history in the making. I hope that YWAM LA continues to send teams here to help pioneer this base, and I know that many people on our team are hoping to return and see the finished project. With God, all things are possible. When He places dreams in our hearts, He will be faithful to work for their realization.

                                        (Team Panarica - blessed to live a week alongside the pioneers of Puerto Viejo)